You, dear parents of young children, are the hub of Christmas.  At least, that's what we hear from all sides.  You arrange the calendar, and make travel plans, negotiate family politics, and shop the deals, wrap and hide the presents, (and, oh yeah, the stocking stuffers too) bake the cookies, and print the Christmas cards,  decorate the house, and (re)decorate the tree after the kids have "helped" with the ornaments.  Then if you're still breathing you hide the elf-on-a-shelf, and visit Santa at the mall, and host a party or two, and bake the pies.  Then you posess that expression of bewilderment when people ask "how are you doing?" in passing.  

Between children, parents, grandparents, and crazy Uncle Rick all wanting a "special" time, you may find a small nervous tick developing just under your left eye.

The holiday season is no joke.  Especially for you, dear mom and dad.  

Here are 4 tools to make the festivities as realistic, and as enjoyable as possible:

• Bedtime is your friend.  You need your sleep.  Your children need sleep.  Everyone will become their very best selves after a good night's rest.  The crying melt-downs of the night before (of children and parents alike), just may smooth out if a faithful bedtime is enforced, foreheads are kissed, and all is forgiven, the night before.
• Establish realistic expectations.  Simplify where possible.  Children are great at letting their imaginations run away with them about what magical times the season will bring.  But we are not set-designers.  We are not fairy-godmothers.  We are parents, who are raising our children to have realistic expectations of themselves, their family, and the world.  Sit down and tell them what you will, and will not do.  There must be as many no's as there are yes's.  Probably more.  Disappointment is painful to endure, but be glad they're learning it at home first, under your tender care.  Think of it this way:  it's like weeding out space around the plants in your garden.  When each one has space around it, it can thrive.  When each activity has times of normal life before and after, it will have time to be looked-forward to, then remembered.  The results should be a well-metered schedule for your family.
• Shop early.  I, as a parent, have spent far too many Christmases standing in long lines of grumpy people, at picked-over stores on December 23rd.  This year, I'm changing my tack. Here's the funny thing: shopping early is not impossible.  Right now is perfect.  Right now is still early.  But what do you get those relatives you're going to visit in a few weeks? 

Listen up!  I've got it.  Here's what you do: this weekend go to the cute little corner schoolhouse at 1782 Pleasant Hill Rd. in Sebastopol.  (Dec.7-9.  Fri. 5-9, Sat. 10-5, Sun. 10-4)
There, they are hosting an Artisan Boutique that is chock-full of all the greatest stuff.  Each of the classrooms are packed with things like wine-barrel furniture, fiber-art, decor, hats, scarves, frames, and all manner of locally-made crafts and unique finds.  I promise you: Aunt Hilda will be thrilled.  Your Mom will be tickled.  And your list will be DONE.

• ​​Connect.  Now that you're done, or even before you're done: take stock.  Maybe slow down.  Take your heart to the Lord.  This whole hullabaloo was all to celebrate His birth.  He sees you, and he cares.  He cares so much He died on a cross to save you from your sins so you can come to him will all your guilt and be washed clean.  Connect with your Creator, and breathe as he made you to breathe.  Slowly.  In good rhythm with Him.  Connect with your loved ones.  Hug your spouse for way too long.  Stare off into the distance with a friend on a walk.  Get down on the floor with the kids and roll around.  Have a good cry if you need to.  Cries are sometimes the best; they open the doorway to a good laugh.  Remember God created you to live in connection, not isolation, even within your own head.  Let him connect you to your people in real and meaningful ways.  Because inside this place of connection, realistic expectations, good sleep, and early shopping, holiday overwhelm cannot even get through the door.

I know our personal worldviews affect our choices, but recently I found them to be powerful enough to change Air Quality Index numbers deemed to be safe for our local public school system.  Let me explain.

The recent California wildfires have filled our air in Sonoma County with thick, noxious smoke that has settled over our county for weeks. As the school principal at PHCS, I was concerned for the health of my students while on campus.  I started learning about Air Quality Indexes so that I could make wise decisions about cancelling school if the air on campus was not healthy.  The multiple sites I used to gather this information all suggested that unhealthy air starts at 150 AQI.

• Wunderground
• EPA's Air Now
• Purple Air

Numbers between 100 and 150 are not healthy for sensitive groups, including children under 18.  So when our numbers were hovering around 170 last week, I chose to cancel school so families could keep their children safely indoors.

My own worldview is that parents are the primary guardians of their children.  

My decisions for the direction of PHCS are based whole-heartedly upon this.  I believe we, as a school, are simply a tool in the hands of parents who want their children educated by loving teachers, in a small, country school environment, where we freely open our Bibles, and learn to love Jesus with everything we’ve got: mind, soul, and strength!  Not for one second do I think that we are smarter than parents, or can offer better health care for their children.

After several days of many schools closing for poor air quality, the county superintendents had a meeting to discuss and decide exactly what levels of poor air quality should close down schools.  The Office of Education boldly emailed all of the local school administrators, including myself, and issued an
Air Quality Index Matrix. The superintendents identified the AQI threshold for cancelling school to be at 275!  This was 125 points more than the “Unhealthy” rating most weather sites identified.

Much to my surprise and that of many parents, a letter was sent along with the matrix.  It explained that many homes were not equipped with the high level air filtration systems present in most schools.  They also charged that when school was cancelled many children may not have indoor activity opportunities.  Overall, this letter claimed that schools were in a better position to care for children in bad air quality than most parents.  

I saw both parents and teachers immediately take to social media over these egregious numbers.  Nevertheless, many public schools were open the following day with numbers between 160-190, though they were closed the day before with similar numbers.  I know parents who kept their children home and signed a petition to have this matrix revisited.

When schools serve families in communities, better decisions will result about when it is healthy to keep the school doors open...and closed.  In this case, the inflated view that schools are more informed/equipped than parents, is hazardous to everyone’s health.  

Do you remember a special person in your life, as a child?  Not a parent or sibling, but someone else: an adult who made you feel important, valued, smart, capable, and loved.  Think back.  They may have been in your life briefly, or as a steadfast character.  Was it a coach?  A neighbor?  A pastor?  A relative?

We, at Pleasant Hill Christian School, know how important these special adults are in a child's life.  They choose to invest themselves into these kids, and for that, we have a special day to honor them.

Every year PHCS has a tradition to celebrate "Special Person Day."  Each child invites one special person to school.  We work hard to ensure every child has a Special Person to celebrate.  The school puts on a program, then the child and their special person have lunch together in their classroom.  The child gets to pack a lunch ahead of time just for their special person.  The school provides dessert for all, then it's off to recess together.  

Every year our Special Person Day is a rewarding time of sharing and giving, enjoyed by all.  The kids are abuzz about who they are bringing as their special person this Friday.  The twinkle in the eyes of the adults honored by this day says it all.  

This event goes beyond the requisite honor of Mothers Day or Fathers Day, or even the traditional family togetherness of the holidays.  This is a "just because" event: just because we think it's important to sing the praises of often un-sung heroes.  This day teaches the children mindful gratitude for relationships with adults that are safe, nurturing, encouraging, and fun.  In a world that feels increasingly dangerous to children, these special persons are those who have taken the time and energy to invest into creating a safe harbor for them to grow up. 
​
Harkening back to the African proverb, these special persons are the "village" raising our children alongside of us.

Which adults were in your village as a child?  How did you appreciate them?  

Every October there's the dance around this question in Christian circles.  "Do you celebrate Halloween?  Only partially?  Not at all?"

It is a rather odd holiday.  With its roots in ancient, pre-Christian Celtic traditions, October 31st was the day the dead were thought to return to earth.  In order to re-brand and redeem this day, Pope Gregory III chose November 1st as "All Saints Day," or "All Hallows' Day," making the evening before "All Hallows' Eve."  It worked - largely within the Catholic Church.  But the creepy/spooky traditions also survived in their own way.

So we are left with a strange amalgam holiday in America where children may dress up in costumes and trick-or-treat for candy at night in their neighborhoods.

But where does that leave us as Christian families?

Should your children celebrate Halloween?

We all know families on both sides of the fence.  Some families let their children trick-or-treat.  Some attend "trunk-or-treats" in their church parking lot: a safer, more controlled environment to dress up and score candy.  Some choose to focus on celebrating the harvest of the season instead, ignoring the whole Halloween scene entirely.

As a school, we don't celebrate Halloween.  

But we make it a point not to dictate Halloween policies for families.

What if we asked a different question instead?

How can we follow Jesus, even around this dicey, often divisive holiday?

How, as Christians, can we love our neighbor?

Maybe this Halloween can be a chance to extend grace to the people who don't agree with us.

Perhaps to extend grace is to be kind, to give the benefit of the doubt, and to simply let different choices exist within the body of Christ.

What if the gospel still remained in tact, whether we keep our children in for the night, or let them go out?

Each of us must act according to our own conscience in the Lord.  As in anything. 

From the book of Proverbs:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight."

We don't have all the answers.  Halloween can be a touchy holiday within the Church, but it doesn't have to be divisive when we treat others' choices with gracious attitudes.

 Every year there's that moment. 

When parent-teacher conferences come around, there will be that parent who finds herself sitting outside the classroom, feeling those initial jitters.  She can't help wondering if she'll receive some bombshell news about her child:  Is he bullying another student?  Is he dyslexic?  Did he win the state spelling bee and forget to mention it at home?

It may seem ridiculous, but the fear of the unknown is real.  

Luckily, parent-teacher conferences were invented in order to dispel that fear.

We asked the pros - our teachers here at PHCS - about what they look forward to about parent-teacher conferences.  Listed below are some great insights from the other side of the table.  Bottom line:  it's about communication, teamwork, and consistency. 

Remember: you, as a parent, are not on the hook.  The teacher is not out to get you, or your child, in trouble.  You can stop looking sideways at them:  You both are on the same team in your child's education.  

In light of this teamwork, here are some do's and don't about your P/T Conference:

Do's:

• Arrive on time.  It tells them that their time is important, and respected.
• Ask questions.  We found a great online resource here for important questions.  Our own teachers love getting questions like:
  • "What can I do at home to support what you're doing in the classroom?"
  • "How can I help my child succeed in school academically, spiritually, and emotionally?"
  • "What do you see as his/her strengths and/or weaknesses?"
• Soak in your child's strengths.  The teacher is happy to deliver good news.  Don't brush them aside to get to the bad news.
• Take notes.  Pen and paper, on your smartphone, whatever.  Just jot down what you discuss.
• Fill them in about home life.  Home always affects school.  This was the most important thing to one of our teachers:  How is the student doing personally?  When a teacher knows more about what's going on at home, they can better address the student's needs at school.
• Take turns listening to each-other's concerns.
• Strategize solutions.  This is where a team-mindset really works.  Do you need to clear a quiet space at home just for homework?  Does your child need a healthier lunch packed, to keep them fueled for the whole school day?  How can you help, as the parent?

Dont's:

• Arrive late, or not at all.  Nothing could say more clearly to the teacher, "You and your work with my child are not worth my time," than by missing that bi-annual (or tri-annual) meeting.
• Make excuses for why your child isn't doing well.  Rather, focus on how to help your child succeed.
• Doubt what the teacher tells you.  They are trained professionals.  If they have shared something with you, it was for a good reason, and quite often, with supporting evidence.  Please take their observations into consideration, for the sake of your child, even if it puts pressure on a sensitive spot for you.

Let's be Consistent
It's hard for your child to function in two disparate worlds of home and school.  When both parent and teacher have a good idea of what's going on in the other's camp, they can re-inforce each other's plans, systems, and even language.  One parent at our school learned that the principal was teaching the children about good behavior and bad behavior by using language from Proverbs about making wise choices vs. foolish choices.  She loved this idea, and now corrects her children at home by talking about making wise choices to glorify God. 

​As one of our teachers said the other day, "I am 'the parent' during the school day and they are the parent at home. If we work together, these children will have consistency throughout their day to foster their success."

​So many choices.  When looking for a school, we have more options at our fingertips than ever before.  Do we send our kids to public school?  Private school?  Do we home-school?  Join an educational co-op?  Online school?   It can feel freeing and overwhelming at once.  In order to shed some light, we asked our parents here at PHCS why they made the decision to enroll in a small, private, Christian school.  Here are some of their answers:


Why drive across town to go to school every day?
"I wanted my daughter to go to school in a safe, nurturing environment.  I wanted to ensure that her significance as a child of God - and how that overarching truth shapes everything in life and learning - was the most important part of her education.  I wanted my child to be truly known, not just another kid in the hall or on the playground.  That small, family-like environment is worth the drive to me."

How does school relate to life at home?
"It's important to us that the foundation that we have set at home for living to honor Christ will be solidified at school as well.  If any situation were to arise at school, I have the confidence and peace of mind to know that the teachers and administrators will handle things in a biblical way, and that we can all refer back to the Bible as our benchmark of appropriate behavior."

Why commit to volunteer hours at the school?
"The teachers and staff do so much to help my child grow as a person, I want to help support them in what they need.  While volunteering, we meet different parents and students from other classes, so it brings us together, forming a stronger community.  I really enjoy helping in the classroom: seeing the different personalities and watching the kids in their own space."

Why did you choose this route for elementary school?
"It gives them a solid foundation, both academically, and spiritually.  Kids are so malleable when they're young.  The things they learn early on (either that they're a beloved child of God, or that they're only a seat filled and a test score) will stick with them through their life.  The foundation of Christ will carry them wherever they go later on: whether to a public education, or anywhere else."

No matter where you choose to send your child, be assured that YOU are the right person to make the decision for their education.  You know them better than anyone.  What is right for some may not be right for others.  Know your child, your family, and your values.  If a private Christian education seems in line with those, we know a great school...